Along with Language Skills, Attitude is Everything
After only a few days back in Slovakia I’ve realized that I’ve changed.
I went into a shop with the intention of looking for a small wallet—I needed something with a pocket to carry all my euro coins. The store was empty except for the woman behind the register and another woman, also a shop assistant, who was leaning against the counter chatting with her. Since the wallets were under glass in the counter, I would have to ask the woman sitting behind to show me what she had. A few years ago this would have been a scenario that would have turned me into an anxious and uncomfortable person, or even sent me from the shop without having asked for a thing. But instead, I walked up to the counter, stared boldly at the woman behind the counter until she made eye contact with me, and then without any hesitations told her what I was looking for and asked her to show me what she had.
This time I didn’t care that my Slovak grammar was not perfect. I didn’t care that I probably had an accent and that I stuck out as a foreigner. I didn’t care that the other shop assistant was probably staring at me. I just didn’t care. And it felt great.
After I left I reflected that it really was liberating to not feel so bound by guilt of not speaking well or embarrassed by my assuredly many mistakes. But what was different? Why had I had a change in attitude? Part of it was that, with the visits from my in-laws, I have been speaking Slovak in my home for the past six months, almost daily. With all that speaking, I’ve gotten comfortable with making myself understood, no matter the round about way I said something, or the words I chose when explaining myself.
Another part may be that I’m simply getting older and past the age where I care what total strangers think of me. Still, sometimes it’s hard not to feel like I’m under a microscope. In our small town it’s hard to escape “the village” atmosphere. Somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knew you you, recognized you in town and told someone else that they saw you. Within a very short while the whole town will more or less know when they’ve got visitors. Not that my husband and I are celebrities, it’s just that when something or someone disrupts the flow of normal comings and goings in a small town, people notice and talk about it. This makes me uncomfortable.
I am who I am, and what I am—a foreigner in Slovakia with enough language skills to make my way around. I can even say “enough to comfortably make my way around”, but that’s entirely up to me to choose to make it so. I’ve known this for so long. Why has it taken me so long to put it into practice?
12 Comments on “Along with Language Skills, Attitude is Everything”
Right on!
April 20th, 2010 at 09:22 PM
Some of my proudest moments have been when I used my very limited Slovak (like when my friends were shoe shopping and I told the saleswoman what size we needed... I didn't know enough Slovak to say "forty-one," so said "four one." But she understood, so that's all that mattered!) Of course, it doens't help that people come up to me and start talking in Slovak... then I have to use it. :)
April 28th, 2010 at 12:43 AM
Hi Margarete, I m slovakien and I was born and raised in Slovakia and moved to Canada i live here for 3 years now. I just d like to say that you should not worry about your slovak language skills, I adore your interest to learn slovak and I m very proud of your progress. Good luck Zuzana
April 30th, 2010 at 12:28 AM
Thanks, Zuzana :)
May 1st, 2010 at 08:15 AM
Definitely don't worry about having an accent - I have an accent in Slovakia and I am a native speaker. Living in the States for half my life has left me with some weird hybrid language skill. I have Slovak accent when I speak English and American accent when I speak Slovak... Where in Slovakia are you?
May 5th, 2010 at 04:07 PM
Hi there! As a current foreigner living in Slovakia, I really do enjoy reading the blog. I have experienced the "stare" by shopkeepers, felt overwhelmed at times, trying to buy stuff. But now and then, I get the odd surprise from shopkeepers. At one shop (that I often go in), the shop assistant never used to speak to me, but once I made a joke about my bad Slovak and ended up having a pidgin Slovak conversation with her. Now most people who know me by sight just rattle at 100 km/h in Slovak, (just because I said 10 words in Slovak). I need that T- shirt but with: Prosim, hovorit' pomoly..
May 5th, 2010 at 05:44 PM
Thanks, Lubos and Nat. I'm in Zlate Moravce, Nitra region. I have this idea that if I don't understand someone I just encourage them to continue talking by nodding my head and saying "aha" once in a while. I figure eventually something will click and I'll know what's being said, even in the most broad terms. This gets me into trouble when one of my relatives is speaking to me and my husband is around. He'll say, "Did you understand that?" I'll say, "Nope." And then he gets upset with me for saying that I did when I didn't. Sometimes it works though. Really.
May 5th, 2010 at 09:40 PM
MARGARETE ANOTHER SIDE NOTE READING THE BLOGS THEY'RE GREAT MY FRIENDS TELL ME THIS ABOUT MY SPEAKING SLOVAK YOU HAVE A GREAT AMERICAN ACCENT WHEN YOU SPEAK SLOVAK????? I NEVER KNEW THIS AND JUST SAT TO THINK ABOUT IT ...STILL THINKING WITH A SMILE.... FOR COMPARISON I ASK MY FRIENDS TO PRONOUNCE THE WORD THURSDAY AND UNDERSTAND JOE
May 5th, 2010 at 11:42 PM
Hi. Its great when somebody tries to speak Slovakia. I appreciate, when foreigners in Slovakia can say at least Good morning etc. general stuff. Its so cute. So dont worry about accent.
July 25th, 2010 at 11:19 AM
Ahoj. This comment is about language. I am slowly learning Slovak. Does any one know where I can find pen pals from Slovakia? The ones on the internet are mostly dating or look unsafe. There is a group of us from school- age to middle -age that would like to practice our Slovak and correspond while learning about each others culture. I would appreciate any ideas. Dakujem . Kathy
July 30th, 2010 at 05:47 PM
Margarete, a piece of advice. Do not pretend,this may annoy/offend. If you do not understand, say you do not understand and then the person will slow down for you or will make an effort to help you get what he/she said.
July 31st, 2010 at 12:04 AM
Ahoj! I am an Australian living in Trnava, and believe me, two languages couldn't be more different! But I started out by at least trying to learn the basic phrases (Good morning, hello etc) and I find that if people realise you have at least made the effort to learn these, even if your pronunciation is a bit off, then they will help you out a bit more. Probably the biggest difference for me has been, particularly with shops in the street, that people are not so accommodating. However in other cases people have been very helpful, and I'm forever grateful! I can now say hello when I pass the same restaurant every day, and can order 'dwe pivo prosim' (I hope the spelling is right!) The funniest thing for me (and I'm contemplating writing a children's story about it somehow) has been the use of Ahoj for hello, when in all English stories about pirates, 'Ahoy me hearties!' is the standard pirate catchcry - but there are no pirates or oceans in Slovakia??? :-) If there is anybody in Trnava who is willing to help me learn some Slovak and who has some knowledge about how I can apply for a visa (I am here currently as a tourist) I would love to talk! Dobredenia :-) Oh, I meant to add, another 'culture shock' was that Australians, particularly where I come from, are usually very laid back, will sit back and have a general conversation with anyone - but here people are a lot more reserved until you get to know them (which means sometimes I am afraid I come across as rude but I am just trying to be friendly).
August 9th, 2010 at 02:56 PM